This is the author's original poem called The Crocodile.
How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!
How cheerfully he seems to grin!
How neatly spread his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!
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And this is my version of it, called The Player.
How do the hard working improvements
Show off her stellar skill,
And analyze all of the movements
On every coach's drill!
How intensely she seems to work!
How gently shoots the ball,
And obtains in each jealous smirk
With hopeful good thoughts from all!
IT was a cute little poem. I liked it. It was really cool how you wrote it with the rhyming, and it sounded just like The Crocodile.
ReplyDeleteThe rhyming pattern was similar to the crocodile as well as the voice, and I thought it was a good authentic satire.
ReplyDeleteI liked your inspiration here, and I thought you did a great job of imitating the author. Like Brad said they rhyming pattern was right on. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThe word's seemed totally natural, like you didn't really have to try to make it rhyme. I just sorta happened. Good imitation the original authors voice.
ReplyDeleteLike Natalie said, I also liked your inspiration and how you picked a poem that relates to who you are; a very fun person. :) I'm glad that you were able to have a little fun with the writing of this poem.
ReplyDeleteI liked what you chose to write on! You did a really good job with your rhyming and your rhythm emulated your poet's really well. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI thought your poem was very similar to the original and it flowed really well! It sounded kind of sophisticated but also fun at the same time, good job!
ReplyDeleteYou did a really good job with imitating your poet. I also agree with Jared on how the rhyming just seemed to happen. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this poem. It made me think that I was at a basketball game watching the whole thing unravel. This was really enjoyable!!! Good Job!!
ReplyDeleteThis was a great imitation! I liked the topic you wrote in on, and like Jared said the poem felt really natural. Like the crocodile, it had a nice rhyming rhythm to it as well. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool little poem! It was really parallel to the original and fun to read. Nice.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed like that poem was written from somewhere that you're familiar with. The rhyming style seemed accurately matched with his.
ReplyDeleteLike others have said, you did a great job emulating your poets style and rhyming. It was also great that you had fun with the poem and chose a topic meaningful to you. Great job!(:
ReplyDeleteI really liked the choice of poem, it was cute and sounded fun to emulate. Your poem really sounded like the first one, and the only critic is that some of the lines did not flow as well as they could, but other than that, awesome job!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jared when he said he thought the rhyming just happened naturally. I love how easy this poem flows, and how so much of your voice in it. great job.
ReplyDelete